The Meeting Synopsis #3

The first two paragraph are the same as the previous draft but upon Simon's recommendation I have reworked the third paragraph as to read in the same style as the first and second.

Football is the greatest passion in the young life of Luke Wood. He will play anywhere he can. So when he comes across an empty goods yard on a journey home it proves simply too tempting an opportunity to pass up. One powerful kick is all it takes to start a chain of events that leads him into terrible, life threatening danger. It is that one kick that sends the ball high up onto the roof of an old derelict factory. The decision to retrieve it is the step that triggers a devastating series of events that will remain with Luke forever and inevitably touch lives other than his own. When he steps onto a rotten wooden cover it suddenly gives way and he is plunged into a dark and threatening abyss leaving him trapped, frightened and yearning for the light and safety of the outside world.

Britain’s fire fighters engage in countless hours of training in preparation for every conceivable scenario. So when the call comes in the members of the specialist urban search and rescue team move swiftly and seemingly effortlessly into action. But on duty today is a fire fighter who has his own particular reasons for wanting to secure a successful outcome to this job. Oliver knows only too well the heartbreak of losing a child through a senseless, tragic accident. Having just returned to work after an extended absence and still raw from the loss of his own daughter he understands the fragility of young life and is plagued by the realisation that this shout could turn out just as badly. With complete disregard for his own safety this rescue attempt will either help him find closure for his daughter’s untimely passing or end his career and destroy his soul.

As the terrifyingly dangerous and rapidly developing events of the present come crashing down around the cowering young boy are intertwined in Oliver’s mind with the painful details of his past, he will be continually tested to his extremes. Not knowing if he can overcome physical, emotional and spiritual barriers Oliver must let himself be taken over by an unexpected and unformulated determination. To do anything possible to snatch Luke from the jaws of death, that focused and unchangeable goal which he must complete to save himself as well as the injured boy. 

The Meeting Synopsis #2

So I've finished the first draft of my script I'm quite happy with it not sure how Simon will respond to it if it’s anything like my synopsis he’s going to find far too many things wrong with it. Speaking of the synopsis I have written up my second attempt taking on board the notes that Simon made on my previous. So here it is:

The Meeting

Football is the greatest passion in the young life of Luke Wood. He will play anywhere he can. So when he comes across an empty goods yard on a journey home it proves simply too tempting an opportunity to pass up. One powerful kick is all it takes to start a chain of events that leads him into terrible, life threatening danger. It is that one kick that sends the ball high up onto the roof of an old derelict factory. The decision to retrieve it is the step that triggers a devastating series of events that will remain with Luke forever and inevitably touch lives other than his own. When he steps onto a rotten wooden cover it suddenly gives way and he is plunged into a dark and threatening abyss leaving him trapped, frightened and yearning for the light and safety of the outside world.

Britain’s fire fighters engage in countless hours of training in preparation for every conceivable scenario. So when the call comes in the members of the specialist urban search and rescue team move swiftly and seemingly effortlessly into action. But on duty today is a fire fighter who has his own particular reasons for wanting to secure a successful outcome to this job. He knows only too well the heartbreak of losing a child through a senseless, tragic accident. Having just returned to work after an extended absence and still raw from the loss of his own daughter he understands the fragility of young life and is plagued by the realisation that this shout could turn out just as badly. With complete disregard for his own safety this rescue attempt will either help him find closure for his daughter’s untimely passing or end his career and destroy his soul.

It is a fast paced race against time as the fire fighters are tested to the extreme as each action packed scene unfolds and one problem follows another. Will it be time for Luke to meet his maker? Will the fire fighters be able to snatch him from the jaws of death? Will Luke become their latest success story or will they suffer the frustration and despair that accompany defeat?

Let me know what you guys think.

First draft of 'the meeting' synopsis

After a number of tweaks I finally finished my first draft of my synopsis for the meeting so here it is.

Playing football with friends after school on a spring day was a regular occurrence in the young life of Luke Wood. Having played for an hour or so he would walk home with his little buddy James laughing and joking along the way. That was the typical, enjoyable and invariably safe routine that had never given rise to a problem before. But one day James didn’t come into school and Luke’s routine went out of the window with potentially disastrous consequences. A gap in the fence surrounding an abandoned factory was too tempting for the youngster to resist, particularly as the goods yard would make an ideal football pitch. A powerful kick of his football, however, which sent it hurtling into the sky and come to rest on a roof top, was the first step in a chain of events that would lead him into terrible danger. Making the decision to climb up onto the roof top of the run down factory building the naive boy would not realise the consequences of his actions until it was too late. When stepping on an old and rotten wooden cover that lay on top of the factory roof it suddenly gives way sending him plunging from the safety and light of the outside world to the dark, threatening abyss that lies below. Meanwhile his mother begins to worry when her little boy doesn’t return home and sends her other older son, Jack, to look for him. Knowing the route his brother usually took home it doesn’t take long for him to find the school bag Luke has left just inside the fence. A build up of gas which has leaked into the factory from adjacent cylinders adds an extra dimension to Luke’s predicament. Conscious but unable to see or move the terrified little boy has no idea how he will get back to safety and all he can do is cry out for help. From a distance Jack hears the faint cries of his brother and launches his self over the fence and runs toward the factory but before he gets there an explosion rips through the building causing parts of it to collapse. Jack calls 999 not knowing if his brother is hurt or worse. The everyday hero’s of the Fire and Rescue Service jump into action. It’s a race against time to locate and reach Luke in this unstable building. Will it be time for Luke to meet his maker? Will the fire fighters be able to save him from an untimely death? Will Luke meet salvation or will the fire fighters meet defeat?

What you think? Any ideas on how I can improve it?

Spaced synopsis.

So have I got you interested with my pitch for Spaced? Yes! Well heres my synopsis to give you a bit more information.

Spaced is an innovative situation comedy that follows a group of likable yet bizarre characters living in the suburbs of North West London. When Tim an aspiring comic book artist and Daisy a fantasist supposedly on a path toward becoming a journalist first meet, they could not foresee how there casual meetings in a cafe would soon lead to them depending on each other in more ways than one. When the couple realise that they are both in need of a place to live the duo plan to acquire a simple and what turns out to be shabby apartment by teaming up. Applying under the pretence of being a professional couple the pair successfully attempt to convince the alcoholic, chain smoking and slightly loopy character Marsha to rent the apartment to them. Throughout the series the audience is also introduced to the best friends of the two protagonists. Mike the best friend of Tim is a strangely immature character that has a strange obsession with the military and is referred to as a ‘weapons expert’ if this is true or just an unfulfilled childhood ambition remains to be seen. Twist the companion of Daisy could be seen as a stereotypical dumb blonde in being ditzy and clumsy throughout the series yet being introduced as a character that works in fashion when in reality working in a laundrette, is she a deceiving character or simply self deluded? The final character prominent in this series is the man that rents the ‘apartment downstairs’ Brian. This character, a tormented artist with an alarming split personality, he seems somewhat socially incompetent when surrounded by the other characters and scarily serious and peculiar when alone creating his artwork focusing on the themes of pain, hurt and sorrow. With the remarkably rapid paced editing and use of an enormous array of shots within each scene is it clear that Spaced has pushed forward into a new and pioneering way of storytelling. By setting up their own rules the use of illustrated comic book inserts and imaginary gun battles the audience is subtlety convinced that they are being shown a world that is fully believable and yet totally paradoxical to any form of reality that they would have been subject to before.  Thankfully through the new forms of narrative along with the hilarious comedic aspects so the show the writers have managed to depict a compelling portrayal of emotional growth of the relationships, friendships and independent growth of both Tim and Daisy whilst continuing the use of self contained stories and multiple story arcs in each of the episodes of the two series’.

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